Goodbye My Lover
by mixkstyle
Summary: During Loki's latest assault on Midgard, Steve is badly hurt, for the one and simple reason that Loki had purposefully targeted the Avengers' captain. Thor comes to terms with what he has to do to stop this madness, with what Loki wants of him. His death.


If there was one thing Thor could give credit to his brother, it was his perseverance. Loki had schemed another attack on Midgard, urging the Avengers to step forward and defend a city Thor was told was called London, somewhere across a vast sea.

Loki had built an army of sorcerers this time, much more difficult to deal with for they could deflect the Midgardians' fire power easily, leaving them defenseless against their magic. He was fighting his brother face to face, after the latter had taken great pleasure in torturing Captain Rogers. Steven was on his knees, clutching his waist a few feet behind Thor, and the pain that marred Steven's face had made Thor's blood boil with rage. Loki knew. Loki knew what Steven meant to him, and had viciously targeted Steven to get to him.

With Mjǫllnir in hand, Thor summoned lightning bolts upon lightning bolts, throwing them at his brother. He knew brutal force was useless against Loki, for he knew his brother's battling style and strong suits. One successful strike caught Loki off guard and Thor took advantage of that brief moment to rush forward, aiming a blow at his brother's head with his mighty hammer. Upon impact, Thor was thrown back a few yards from his brother and landed on his back against the hard concrete, Mjǫllnir having met an invisible barrier that protected Loki's head. The sky above him was clear, and one could have thought today was a sunny and beautiful day had it not been clouded by the horrific battle occurring right now.

"Don't you understand, brother?" Loki hovered over him, his glowing scepter pointed at him, his snide tone as infuriating as ever. "You will never win against me."

Thor regarded his brother with a hatred he'd never felt before, his sentiments of fraternity and love toward Loki long gone now. Loki was too far gone, darkness had taken over Thor's once beloved brother completely. As hard as it had been to accept, Thor had come to terms with this new and dark man that stood above him.

"Good always wins, Loki," he retorted as he kicked Loki's shins to distract him, his eyes widening when his feet hit nothing but air. Another illusion Loki was so fond of. Looking up above him, Thor saw Loki's scepter aimed at him, and for a second Thor thought this was it. Loki would impale him, and win at last.

A blue blur passed by, taking Loki down with it and giving Thor enough time to get back on his feet, horror scarring his face when he saw that Steven had just saved his life, only to be kicked back by Loki. Even if hand to hand combat wasn't Loki's preferred method of fighting, and no matter how strong Steven was compared to the average Midgardian, Loki was still a God. He was still stronger than Steven.

"You miserable cockroach!" Loki roared, throwing a ball of energy at the Captain. By the time Thor had tackled Loki down on the ground, it was too late, and Steven had been hit again, leaving the mortal on the ground. Thor's fists never stopped hitting Loki's face as he straddled the latter, his body having gone into a frenzy that was fueled by rage and despair. Thor's ears were soon greeted by Loki's screeching laugh, his brother's teeth stained by blood.

Out of the blue, Thor's fist met the ground, leaving a large crater where Loki's head had been. His brother had vanished, and Thor looked around frantically for Loki, seeing no one but Steven. Rushing to his comrade's side, Thor turned the latter over on his back, cradling Steven's head on his lap, hand reaching for Steven's cheek.

"Steven," Thor rasped, a little out of breath, his heart pounding violently against his ribcage. _Please, be alive_ he prayed silently. He hung his head low, pressing his lips to Steven's forehead as he stifled a few sobs. "My love, please answer me."

Fear started to creep in, taking hold of Thor's heart rapidly and invading his mind. Steven wasn't responding, his eyes still shut and his chest rising slowly, painfully. It was an unbearable sight, and Thor was close to breaking down. He couldn't afford to lose Steven. Not like this. Not to Loki.

"What a touching moment," the voice startled him, prompting Thor to spin around and scowl at his brother through his teary eyes. Loki looked unscathed, despite Thor's earlier treatment. Loki was already ready to charge at them again, and Thor was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. The city they'd set to defend was in ruins, and he had long since lost track of his other teammates' whereabouts. His focus had been solely set on Steven the moment he learned Loki had set his eyes on their Captain.

"You know how this all could end, brother," Loki walked slowly toward them, and Thor instinctively turned his back on Loki, putting himself between Steven and his brother, ready to shield any attack from the latter. "You know what I want. This will never end until you are no more."

"How can I trust you, after everything you've done, Loki?" Thor croaked, the exhaustion catching up to him as he considered Loki's offer. He'd known for a while what Loki wanted. More than the throne of Asgard, Loki had grown to desire Thor's death above all else. He wished he could believe that his death would bring peace to Midgard, that Loki would at last leave this innocent people alone, were Thor gone.

"I don't want this hellhole as my kingdom, brother," Loki responded, gesturing at the ruins around them. "I want what is rightfully mine. I want Asgard. I want you gone."

Thor had a hard time believing Loki's words, he knew better than to trust his brother. However, part of him knew that there was more than likely truth to what Loki said. Loki had attacked Midgard randomly, having abandoned all ideas of ruling the humans that inhabited it. Thor had seen this new pattern. Loki was doing this to spite Thor. He was attacking this realm because Thor cherished it so much. The other Avengers hadn't realized this yet, and Thor lived in fear they ever would. The truth was that Thor was selfish. He didn't want to leave this world where he'd found something he desired more than anything. He'd found love. He'd found Steven. And he didn't want to let go of what they had. He'd convinced himself he was doing the right thing, staying alive, staying here to protect Earth from Loki. As much as he hated to admit, he knew deep down that he was what actually put Midgard in danger. His sole existence was the reason why Midgard needed protection from Loki in the first place.

Looking down at his lover, Thor's heart clenched painfully, guilt seizing him in its horrific grasp. Steven was in this state because of him. Because Thor loved him. He brushed some dirt off Steven's handsome face, realization dawning upon him. Steven was what he cherished most, more than his own life. If anything, Thor would give his life for Steven's safety and well-being. He turned his gaze back to Loki, locking eyes with his brother. It was time to stop being selfish.

"I want you gone from Midgard," Thor resolved to say, not leaving Steven's side. "I'll go back with you to Asgard and hand over the throne to you, let you put an end to my existence with your own hands. But before that, I'll destroy all means for you to come back to this world."

"I'm most delighted that you're finally seeing reason, brother," Loki grinned, raising a hand in the air, signaling his minions to stop their assault with this one simple motion.

"One last thing," Thor added, looking back down at Steven as a few tears dropped on his lover's face. "I want you to heal Steven before we depart."

"Of course," Loki heaved a sigh, walking over to them and crouching down, one hand planted on Steven's chest. A soft light glowed from Loki's hand, spreading over Steven's being. For all his faults, Loki still had some sense of honor left in him. Steven's wounds healed, and his breathing fell into a more steady rhythm. Once done, Loki stood up, giving them some space. "I'll let you say your farewells. You have five minutes, brother."

Relief washed over Thor when he could see with his own eyes that Steven was well again, the latter's relaxed face still securely resting on Thor's lap. Relief was soon replaced by sorrow, the pain of never seeing Steven again taking roots in his heart. He didn't regret one second what he'd shared with this man. Steven had touched his heart, touched his soul; changed his life and all his goals. Thor had never been as happy as he had been with Steven. He kissed Steven's lips and held his hand, remembering the past years spent with his love. He grew to share Steven's dreams, he grew to learn every quirks Steven had; from his nocturnal escapades to that little eyebrow he loved cocking so much. He'd shared Steven's bed, he'd shared his fears and hopes with him. He discovered many of the wonders this realm had to offer with Steven. They'd shared a life together, as short as it had been, it was still something Thor cherished. There were so many memories, and many more they could never create now.

"Goodbye my lover," Thor whispered, the words coming out raggedly. "Goodbye my friend. You have been the one—" he continued but his breath hitched in his throat, his heart skipping a beat when his gaze fell upon Steven's blue eyes. Steven was awake and well, looking at him with a confused look. Thor flashed him a soft smile as a lonesome tear streamed down his face, intending for it to be reassuring even if he felt as though life was already leaving him.

"Thor? Are you all right?" worry crept into Steven's tone, and Thor gazed fondly at him, drawing in a deep breath. He had so much to tell Steven, so little time. He had to stay strong if he wanted to get everything off his chest before parting ways with Steven.

"You have been the one for me," Thor finished his sentence, keeping on with his speech. "And as you move on, please remember me. Remember us and all we used to be," he said, knowing all too well he might have been asking too much of Steven. He didn't want this relationship to be forgotten. He couldn't live eternally to remember it, and he hoped Steven would remember for him.

"Thor, what are you talking about?" Steven inquired, his eyes moving around until they settled on Loki a few feet away from them, before meeting Thor's again. At that moment, Thor could see the realization dawning on Steven through the latter's eyes. "No. No, Thor, please don't," Steven begged, sitting up to mirror Thor's position and rest on his knees, face to face with him.

"I'd spend a lifetime with you, and I love you, I swear that's true," Thor ignored Steven's pleas, as heart wrenching as they were, ignored Steven's hands framing his face, ignored Steven's tender touch. He wasn't being very coherent, he said things randomly, he knew that, and he blamed it on the many emotions that were overwhelming him at the moment.

"I can't live without you, Thor," Steve's voice was broken, and Thor almost wanted to back out. But he couldn't. He had to do this. For Midgard. For Steven.

"Goodbye my lover," Thor finally said, capturing Steven's lips in one last searing kiss, baring his soul and heart through that touch of lips on lips. He let go of Steven eventually, standing up on shaky legs with Steven's hands clenching his wrists tight.

"Don't do this, Thor, it won't stop him," Steven said more forcefully, an ounce of anger showing in his tone.

"Thor," Loki's warning tone prompted Thor to shake Steven's hands off, turning his back on the latter as he started to walk toward this brother. He stopped a couple of steps away from his brother, biting his bottom lip down before turning his head to look one last time at Steven. His brave and honorable Steven. Handsome and kind Steven.

"I love you," he whispered one last time, forcing himself to tear his eyes away from the broken man he was going to leave behind. He shuffled to his brother, Steven's beautiful blue eyes the last thing he saw before Loki flashed them away from this city, from this world; back to Asgard. This last sight of Steven was forever burned in Thor's mind, his heart heavy with spleen and agony. His only consolation was that his misery would soon be put to an end.


End file.
